


My Only Mistake (Was Loving You)

by TheSkySpiritsTalentShow



Category: CinnamonToastKen (YouTube RPF), Cryaotic (Youtube RPF)
Genre: Feelings, M/M, cinnamontoastcry, ken lives closer to cry so this story could actually kinda work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-03 22:22:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4116957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSkySpiritsTalentShow/pseuds/TheSkySpiritsTalentShow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>About a month ago, Cry had stopped showing up to co-ops and turned down offers to feature in the BroKen Podcast.</p>
<p>He snapped at everyone and indulged more in his videos, often uploading content with over two hours of durance.</p>
<p>It didn´t take long for everyone to figure out the reason behind his moodiness was CinnamontoastKen. And of course, it confused everyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Only Mistake (Was Loving You)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for alex-zemod

It started off small, like a persistent buzz at the back of the subconscious and gradually spread until it was an ugly fat fly, circling over everyone´s heads.  
  
About a month ago, Cry had stopped showing up to co-ops and turned down offers to feature in the BroKen Podcast.  
  
He snapped at everyone and indulged more in his videos, often uploading content with over two hours of durance.  
  
It didn´t take long for everyone to figure out the reason behind his moodiness was CinnamontoastKen. And of course, it confused everyone.  
  
Cry would be completely normal in his stream, joking and ranting about his personal opinions on current world topics until someone brought up something Ken-related. In no time at all, the masked gamer´s mood would drop. He´d tell the person off for mentioning the subject, claiming it wasn´t something he wanted to talk about.  
  
He´d be irritable and tense for the rest of the stream.  
  
Or one time Pewdie asked him if he wanted to co op TTT with two other Youtubers. Cry said yes at first, but then canceled last moment when it turned out one of the two other gamers was Ken.  
  
Ken of course was hurt and confused. All of his friends messaged him, asking if there had been a fight between the two gamers or if he had insulted Cry.  
  
He´d tell them, no, of course not, last time they spoke Cry seemed even happier than ever.  
  
Pewdie hated to see his two best friends fighting and he tried to talk to Cry about the issue, pressing him to explain what happened. The brunette got increasingly angry with the Swede until he stopped talking to him as well.  
  
Slowly, Cry´s viewer count dropped. People stopped asking him for a co-op and the rest of the Late Night Crew even banned him from the stream, telling him he can try again when he stopped acting so childish and had made up with Ken.  
  
It grew to the point when Cry stopped tweeting, stopped posting on tumblr, stopped everything except his videos. He turned off comments as well, probably because of all the hate and unwanted questions he got.  
  
The only one who didn´t leave him in his own isolation was, ironically, Ken. No matter how many messages went ignored or even blocked, the bearded man continued pressing, desperately wanting his old friend back.  
  
One night, Ken found himself doing something he had never thought he would ever attempt in his life. He sat down at his computer and got his ´hacking´ skills together until, after hours of searching and trying, he managed to get a hold of Cry´s phone number.  
  
An old college student, Cheyenne, sent him the still valid number after he had, for good reasons, lied about how Cry had gone on a hunting trip in a local wooded area and hadn´t been home in a few days.  
  
The phone rang once, twice until someone picked up.  
  
Ken waited, not wanting to reveal his identity up so soon and give Cry the chance to hang up on him.  
  
“…hello?” Came a tired voice. He sounded like he hadn´t slept properly for days.  
  
“Uh…hi.”  
  
“…who is this?” There came a yawn and a shuffle. “Can you give me a name?”  
  
“Cry…it´s me, Ken.”  
  
“…”  
  
Click.  
  
Ken lowered the phone.  
  
He had hung up on him.  
  
The American stared at the communication device laying in his hand in disbelief for a few seconds before anger took over his hurt.  
  
This had gone too far.  
  
If Cry wasn´t going to answer his questions that way, Ken would just have to pay him a little visit and get the truth out another way.  
  
Quickly, before his plan could be thwarted with Cry changing his number, Ken went back to the internet and located the masked gamer´s residence in Florida via cellphone. As soon as he had the address, Ken pulled out a duffel bag and started packing.  
  
-  
  
“Okay, Mary. Look. I know you don´t want to go in here and I wouldn´t force you either. But for some reason, the game developers thought it was a good idea so, fuck it. Let´s go. It´s not like we have another choice.”  
  
Cry sat slumped in his chair, his room dark and a can of Monster in his hand. With the other he controlled the W, A, S, D keys, making the blonde protagonist near the spooky house towering over her.  
  
When he got close enough, the walking animations took over and Cry took the moment to sip at the sweet energy drink.  
  
Just as a cut scene started, showing the frightened, but determined girl enter the dark building, the doorbell rang.  
  
Cry looked over towards his bedroom door with disgust, knowing he would have to get up and engage a conversation with whoever was at the door. He sighed and paused the game and recording, taking off his headphones as he stood up and walked out to the front door.  
  
The doorbell rang again just as Cry fumbled for his keys and started to unlock the doors.  
  
“I´m coming!” He said angrily, twisting the metal object in its lock a few times before jerking open the door.  
  
“What do you-” He started, but the words were stuck in his throat as he found himself staring into the eyes of CinnamontoastKen.  
  
“Hello, Cry.” Ken said, opting for a small smile.  
  
Cry quickly turned his head away and mumbled something, closing the door again. It was stopped, however, halfway by a firm hand.  
  
Ken pushed it open and slipped past Cry, who slinked back against the dark wood as the other drew near, walking into his home.  
  
The masked brunette hesitated, before closing the door and turning to face his former friend.  
  
“What the fuck?”  
  
“I could be asking you the same thing!” Ken said back, sounding just as angry as Cry.  
  
“Why are you here?!”  
  
“Oh, let me see about that…” The other scratched at his beard in mock thought. “Maybe it´s because my best friend started ignoring me, refusing to talk to me or anyone else and had locked himself in his house! Maybe it´s because I was so worried about you and just wanted everything to be back to normal, where we could actually engage in a normal conversation and where we could be best buddies, playing with our other best buddy Felix! Maybe it´s because I care about you, Cry!”  
  
Ken had started shouting at this point. Frustration welled up inside of him, along with a few tears, but he refused to let them fall.  
  
Cry didn´t react to his shouting, other than crossing his arms. The blank look of his mask pissed Ken off even more and he wanted nothing else than to march up to the brunette and yank it away.  
  
So he could see if Cry actually cared, actually felt sorry for being such an asshole to him lately.  
  
“Why don´t you just go play with Felix and Minx then? Why would you want me?” Cry asked coldly, almost accusing.  
  
“Cry! I told you! You´re one of my best friends, so-”  
  
“Exactly!” Cry yelled.  
  
The other stopped, surprised by the sudden outburst.  
  
The masked gamer looked like he wanted to say something else, but instead put a hand to his mouth and turned his back.  
  
It took Ken a moment to realize Cry was sobbing.  
  
All the anger faded away and was replaced by concern.  
  
“Cry?” Ken asked.  
  
“Just go away.” Cry spat, but it sounded more hurt than angry. His voice was tight with tears.  
  
“I´m not leaving until I get an answer.”  
  
“Fuck you, Ken! I don´t WANT to talk to you! Leave me alone! You don´t care, no one cares!”  
  
“That´s not true and you know it, Cry! We all care about you! Felix, Minx, Russ, ect. I care!”  
  
“No you don´t!” Cry was yelling again, but this time he couldn´t keep the tears away. He started crying earnestly, trying to speak between each sob. “You don´t…you don´t care like you should!”  
  
“What?”  
  
Cry shook his head, wiping furiously at his eyes to no avail. But he didn´t stop speaking. “You don´t really care about me! I´m just a friend, just a co-op partner! I- I don´t want to be those things! I want to be something else, something more but I can´t! I hate this! I hate feeling like this so much! I just want to return back to normal! But every time I try to push away the feelings, YOU come and destroy all the hard work! I can´t stop thinking about you!”  
  
The brunette paused, only to take in a huge, shaky breath.  
  
“Everytime I record with you, I get these thoughts. Thoughts that a friend shouldn´t have about another friend! It hurts so much, Ken! I see you almost every day and I know I can´t ever have what I need the most! It´s killing me! This is your fault, this is all your fault! I don´t want to see you anymore, I want you to fuck off and never come back! Never talk to me again! I can´t stand being around you anymore! The…the only way to make this alright is if I forget about you!”  
  
Cry broke off and covered his hand with his mouth, trying to stifle his crying. He felt so pathetic, so angry and he pleaded for the sounded of the front door closing so he could cry and scream in peace. But that didn´t happen.  
  
Instead, he felt two hands being placed on his shoulder, a soft gentle touch that broke the dam.  
  
The gamer turned around and buried his face into Ken´s chest, clutching his shirt and bawling uncontrollably.  
  
“I´m sorry, I´m so sorry!” He kept saying over and over.  
  
He was vaguely aware of a voice in his ear, telling him it was alright, to let it all go, to let it out. A hand rubbed his back soothingly, causing him to cry even harder.  
  
But even then, Cry felt like he had just stepped out of a dark and cold nightmare into the warm, comforting arms of a trusted friend.  
  
It took about another ten minutes till Cry had calmed down enough, but Ken didn´t mind. He stood in the middle of the hallway holding his friend until even the soft sniffles disappeared.  
  
“Cry.” He said softly and the brunette reluctantly released Ken. He turned away and took off his mask, wiping his sleeve over his eyes.  
  
“I´m sorry.” He muttered, drying his mask with his shirt before putting it back on and facing Ken.  
  
“Don´t be.” Ken smiled.  
  
Cry managed to mimic it in a weaker fashion. He looked exhausted.  
  
Ken noticed that as well and took him by the arm. “Look, let´s talk about this when you wake up. For now, I think you need proper sleep.”  
  
The masked gamer didn´t argue, just let his love lead him into the bedroom. Cry collapsed on his bed and buried his head into his pillow, feeling fatigued. As he drifted off to sleep, he distantly felt Ken sit down next to him and run his fingers through his hair soothingly.  
  
In less than a minute, Cry´s breathing evened out and the brunette was fast asleep. Ken was left alone to his thoughts. He replayed the scene over and over in his head.  
  
He felt guilty for being the object of his friend´s torment for so long. But at the same time he was happy that he got his Cry back. He was sure the others will be happy as well.  
  
He thought about how to progress. Ken had never been together with a guy before and deemed himself heterosexual…but…for Cry…it wouldn´t hurt to try, right?


End file.
